Contributor: Simon

 

Simon joins us from just outside Washington, D.C. He once barricaded himself in his dorm room for a month and emerged in a fully functioning Iron Man suit. We’re not really sure what he plans to write about, but his command of the English language is comparable to Oprah’s control over America’s housewives. It is absolute.

Simon protests the Danish police’s draconian measures to curtail his swagger.

 

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