Category Archives: Videos You Should Watch

A Mr. Rogers Remix

By Anthony

I actually really enjoy this video. It’s a cool remix and nostalgia inducing enough to make one get back into Season 5 of Sesame Street. Plus it’s the best use of autotune I’ve heard since before T Pain started crooning on boats.

Enjoy at your own leisure.

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Ma’am, Is This a Preexisting Condition?

You mean, was I BORN on fire?  For some reason I think this would’ve been a lot funnier if the firefighter had a Southern accent. But it’s still a decent parody.

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Here’s a Good One

By Anthony

Here at Gator we are dedicated to providing you with the very best. A full grown male Gator weighs upwards of 300lbs and is one of the best hunters in the water. The gator you’re reading would probably weigh about 100lbs and scavenge the dead fish that float on the surface.  You see we don’t actually have any funny, witty, creative or even intelligent content*, but we sure can find it on the Internet!

Enjoy this one:

*I’m betting that self deprecating humor makes re-publishing content okay.

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Dikembe Mutombo Was Involved in a Smuggling Operation??

By Zach

There was an article on ESPN a couple days ago, first reported by the Houston Chronicle last week, revealing that legendary NBA shotblocker and priceless interviewee Dikembe Mutombo was apparently behind the attempted smuggling of over 1,000 pounds of gold out of his native Congo.

It appears that the operation was botched, but not for lack of effort. Among the story’s details:

– Dikembe made a PowerPoint outlining his plan and presented it to a Houston oil baron

– The person who caught them in the act of smuggling was a warlord general nicknamed “The Terminator”

– From the ESPN article: “We could go through the whole crazy story for you, but why ruin the fun? All you need to know is that it ends with the general and his chief intelligence officer counting a suitcase full of $3.1 million in U.S. bills, a fire truck being driven in front of Lawal’s jet to stop it from taking off, and all of the passengers inside being taken into custody for illegal possession of minerals.”

I guess that for once, someone else blocked Dikembe.

 

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Top Five Ski Crashes

By Zach

Since it was bright, sunny and about 65 degrees out in Brooklyn today, I thought I’d do a post about skiing. Or rather, about the occasions when skiing goes awry.

Skiing is admittedly kind of a fringe sport. Not a lot of Americans outside of New England and the Rockies area know too much about it. Those who do follow the sport know how awesomely difficult and dangerous it is to be hurtling down a sheet of ice and choppy snow at 80-90 miles per hour. Obviously, there’s some potential for disaster. Here are five of the better crashes I’ve seen.

Please note that as far as I know, these guys weren’t seriously injured. There have been some really bad crashes that have ended in airlifts (Scott Macartney in 2008 at Kitzbuhel for example), and even deaths (Ulrike Maier’s in 1994), but for obvious reasons those videos aren’t fun to watch. These are.

5. Andrej Jerman – Groeden Super G, 2009

Brutal fall. Jerman gets late and catches too much air off a bump, then lands only to find his boot’s on a collision course with the gate. Getting late and taking out gates is one of the more painful ways you can fall in skiing, and this is a perfect example.

4. Mario Matt – not sure when/where this was

Mario Matt, a slalom skier by specialty, occasionally participates in downhill for combined races (on the World Cup there are a few events every year that combine racers’ times in a run of downhill and a run or two of slalom). In this case, that plan backfired. I’m not even quite sure how he was able to do a corkscrew in the air unintentionally like this, but it looks really cool nonetheless. I couldn’t find a video of just Matt’s crash, but he’s the first crash in this compilation, so it will have to suffice. The rest of it isn’t very good, though, and the music sucks, so just a heads up.

3. David Poisson – Val Gardena Downhill, 201o

Bad camera angle, but you get the idea. Poisson corkscrews off the jump impressively.

2. Daron Rahlves – Adelboden Giant Slalom, 2005

Rahlves gets bonus points for both pulling this off in a GS and for crashing into the crowd.

1. Hermann Maier – Nagano Olympic Downhill, 1998

By far the most famous fall of all time. A lot of people recognize this crash because it was so high profile and so spectacular. Maier was the best skier in the world at the time, and this crash looked like it could have been fatal. He was in fact very lucky to survive –  he blew through two fences and landed in a rock field that was covered with an unusual amount of snow, which probably saved him. A couple days after this he won gold medals in GS and Super G, cementing his legend as one of the toughest and best skiers ever.

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New York City in 1938

By Taylor

Always at the forefront of internet happenings, my mother sent me this video earlier today. At first I was hesitant to watch, as her emails primarily consist of thinly-veiled attempts to convince me to move back home and accept my fate working at the Sbarro in Terminal B of the Boston Logan Intl Airport. However, this video was fairly interesting.

Highlights

  • “Orientals”
  • “Colored population”
  • beautiful Jersey shore”
  • a collectively glossy-eyed nation attempting to ignore the increasingly radical policies of the Nazi Party and the impending threat of WWII
  • a narrator whose voice I firmly believe must have been used in literally every radio  and television broadcast until 1960
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The Best Whitest Kids U Know Skits

By Zach

The Whitest Kids U Know, a sketch comedy troupe out of New York, have had some pretty inspired, if often hugely inappropriate, ideas for skits.

A Gallon of PCP: My friends and I quoted this video throughout college. Works for everything. “Do you…like…wine?” Got a gallon!

Also, I’ve discovered that you can follow up any dubious claim by saying “Science” with a definitive, knowledgeable air and get away with it.

The Grapist: This one I couldn’t quote throughout college because girls would have run screaming in the opposite direction, and also because rape isn’t funny, but c’mon, this is absurd enough to be pretty funny.

Hitler Rap: It starts slowly, and the hook kinda sucks, but there’s some absolutely brilliant wordplay in a couple of the verses – “There’s a party up at Schindlers and I’m on his ‘A-list!'”, for example. They also rhyme “Panzer tank” with “my bitch Anne Frank” in one of the more offensive lines I’ve ever heard.

Sniper Business: Some of WKUK’s best work is when they just go literal to the max. This is a great parody of aggressive business maneuvering.

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“All Our Jobs Are Going to China. If I Were President, The Only Thing Going to China Would Be Missiles”

By Zach

The Onion News Network used to do segments featuring Joad Cressbeckler; for whatever reason, they were discontinued.  For a few golden months, though, the  grizzled prospector turned pundit gave us gems like these:

On the Irish famine: “Tater disease what brung us the Irish”

On homosexuality: “You say it ain’t right for two old prospectors to tug at each other’s peckers to keep em from dropping off in the frostbite?”

On NASA: “Now these space princes are goin’ round demanding all the greenbacks a cow can carry so they can keep gallavantin’ in their rockets”

On development in the Persian Gulf: “Those Mohammadens are fixin to build the tallest building what could scrape the sky.”

On veterans: “I don’t respect no man what ain’t lost a body part at war”

On U.S. relations with China: “And all our jobs are goin to China. If I’re president the only thing goin’ to China would be MISSILES”

And my new go-to pickup line: “You set my blood a-dancin with all your pillowy parts”

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The Cirle of Life is Complete For One Internet Meme

I’ll assume you haven’t been living under something that would block your internet connection; a bridge, tunnel, bank vault, rock, and that you’ve seen at least one of the “Shit [insert stereotype here] Says” videos. And if you’ve grown as sick of them as I have, you have only one more to watch.

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The Answer is Simple: Volume

By Zach

We at Gator Don’t Play No Shit found ourselves needing a bank earlier today, what with all this revenue that’s flowing in, so we decided to manage our finances through this outfit:

What do you think, wise decision?

Also, while we’re here watching videos together, here’s what I’m pretty sure Anthony did unironically when he bought his MacBook.