Christopher Moore is Hilarious. Read Him.

By Zach

Don’t you hate it when you discover something way after everyone else did? It’s like the opposite of being a hipster. I get this feeling about TV shows a lot, since I never had cable growing up. So when people started raving about It’s Always Sunny,  I still had yet to learn that there’s always money in the banana stand.

Anyway, I feel that way about Christopher Moore. I’m reading one of his most recent books, Fool, and it’s hilarious. The story is essentially a parody of Shakespeare’s King Lear, although there are elements of other plays tossed in. It’s told from the perspective of Pocket, Lear’s fool (i.e. jester), a man-child of almost infinite wit and vulgarity.

To me, the plot isn’t anywhere near as interesting as the verbal exchanges Moore concocts. Wikipedia and Amazon reviews tell me that this isn’t even one of his most well-regarded books, but I’m finding it funny nevertheless. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Ydych chi’n cymryd cerdynnau credid?’ said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell’s own bunghole.

*

Soon a whole guild of low-priced shrine keepers around Europe named their own pope – Boldface the Relatively Shameless, Discount Pope of Prague. The price war was on […] The Retail Pope would offer cheesy bacon toppings on the Host with communion and the Discount Pope would counter with topless nun night for midnight mass.

*

A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain’s heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum trumpet could find no note.

*

I’ll not have an exchange with an impudent fool.” [Oswald]
He’s not impudent,” said Jones [the puppet]. “With proper inspiration, the lad sports a woody as stout as a mooring pin. Ask your lady.”
I nodded in agreement with the puppet, for he is most wise for having a brain of sawdust.
Impudent! Impudent! Not impotent!” said Oswald, frothing a bit now.”

*

You get the idea. It’s a silly but clever book. Apologies for the lazy post in which I quote funny things that someone else said.

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