Hidden Clauses in PIPA and SOPA

By Zach

The dual anti-piracy bills in Congress caused an uproar on the Internet over the past few days. While most people know the basic facts, what’s in the fine print of this legislation?

– To cut down on bandwidth, all porn sites except those featuring little people will be shut down

– Strict five-emoticon limit per Facebook status update

– Every blog that mentions Zooey Deschanel immediately deleted by FCC officials in Washington

– Anyone who Tweets “#lamehashtag” gets their Twitter deactivated

– YouTube’s front page to consist solely of Shakira’s full music videography

– StumbleUpon will mysteriously lead all users to the Romney 2012 campaign website every five clicks

– Every person with a Tumblr account to be arrested on charges of online loitering, vagrancy

– AskJeeves will replace Google, because John Boehner liked it better

– Honestly, we’re just gonna scrap this whole Internet debacle before it gets out of hand

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