In Defense of Sopa and Pipa

By Zach

When I first heard about the House’s Stop Online Piracy Act and the Senate’s Protect Intellectual Property Act, (about 12-18 hours ago), I was OUTRAGED. How dare the government curtail my right to blog, and have those results pop up on Google?

But then I thought twice. This blog IS popping up on Google. My name is pretty unique. So is Ruairi’s. So while Taylor and Anthony can sit there smugly in their respective Victorian leather armchair and dumpster blogging about falling out of cabs drunk, safe in the knowledge that there are hundreds of people on the Internet with their name, Ruairi and I can’t. We have a reputation to uphold. He’s going to be a fisherman next summer, for God’s sake. What if the skipper of his boat looks him up and sees that Ruairi likes to drink a lot of beer? That kind of admission can kill a career in the fishing industry.

And me. If multiple posts about my love for rap which disclose strong misogynist leanings weren’t enough, I admitted on Gator that I wouldn’t say no to a threesome with Obama and Michelle.

So the point is, SOPA can’t get here soon enough. Congress, if you’re reading this, and I’m sure you are, please censor this blog’s results on Google. Block them entirely, preferably. Our careers are begging you.

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One thought on “In Defense of Sopa and Pipa

  1. Taylor Woodward says:

    WELL. For your information it’s an Elizabethan armchair, and it was proudly bequeathed to me by my great great grandfather Taylor Cornelius Woodward IV, Duke of Hertfordshire.

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